im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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