i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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