You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
