You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
