I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
