Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
