yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
