There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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