he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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