i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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