explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
