This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
