Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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