I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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