Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
