Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
