your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
