I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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