If i come over, it means nothing
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
