i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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