She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
