Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
