Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize