He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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