So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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