playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
