i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
