I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
