So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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