Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
