i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
