The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
