i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
