how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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