I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
