you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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