His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize