I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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