ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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