as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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