i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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