the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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