I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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