So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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