i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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