Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
