Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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