She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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