TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do herpes really smell.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
