Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
