I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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