were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
