Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
