Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just forgot I was standing up.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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