Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
