you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
