One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
