We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
