yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
