shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
