LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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