This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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