There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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