You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
