did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
