Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
