So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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