She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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