Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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