wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize