you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
