what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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