when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
