if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
