Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
