well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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