Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
