my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
