Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
