so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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