so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
