More tranny stories later!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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