so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
